Been awhile...

How long has it been? I can really tell, but here I am to update this blog... Many events occured actually, but just got no time to sit in front of the pc to update stuffs, but well, now there is, hehe...

Recently I just went to Signal Hill to find and measure the trees which were planted by the DBKK back in few years ago, it was really fun for it's really been long since I last set foot on any forest, restless, that how I felt, I could do the job swiftly and longer, hahaha, but still it's no one man job, it took 3 groups, consists of 2 people each, to get the job done... Group leader Sheerin was with Syafura, Dzul with Francius, and Nick with me. Sheerin and Syafura were taking the lower part since it was really hard for them to go up the hill since there's no proper way, and it really gave me hard time on my feet since my boots no longer fit me anymore, but still I manage to climb here jump there, haha... It's really fun for me since I was raised by a family of hunters...

It didn't took us long to finish it though, but I can see everyone was tired, for us guys, since we smoke, we should have shorter breath, but strangely, I didn't felt any of those, in fact, I wanted to do more things like make a clear path to all of the trees we found.

syafura offered me a ride when we're done, so I asked her to drop me at my wifey's Uni, when I arrived there, she hugged me even I was dirty, hahaha, made me smile untill I was in her car...

She told me that she has class so she lend me her car so I could go back home and take a rest. I drove back, but didn't rest, not enough time... When I reached home, I opened my boots and looked at my soaring feet, took a shower and do my laundries including my baby brother's napkins, Asher. It took me like 3 hours or so and I pick up Fifey (Wifey) and sent her to return a dress to a saloon, and went to her home where she got ready for a steambot dinner together with my cousin Solomon, and a few friends...

Phew, gotta stop for now, and will continue later... And lil Bayonetta is sleeping on my lap since I opened this pc while waiting for Fifey to come back home, I'm having fever today to be exact, hahaha... Have to skip Jap class although I didn't want to... Hope I still could catch up, only didn't have time to revise since I'm busying with DBKK... Sigh, till then... Adios...

Lol!! Found 1 more, haha!!

I see~~ O.O

Thx2 for zhis advize, I vill understand and do well =D

http://www.novareinna.com

Individuals born on the cusp of Cancer (the fourth Sign of the Zodiac) and Leo (the fifth Sign of the Zodiac) are ruled by both the Sun and the Moon. These cuspians are witty, ambitious and sometimes, extremely unscrupulous. Indeed, this particular cusp combination frequently produces the most corrupt of politicians who attain eminence. These natives are experts at appealing to the various vulnerable points of their associates and the inherent daring ambition provides the power of securing for themselves the preferment and advancement to which they aspire, even though better individuals may, of necessity, be sacrificed to their progress. Nonetheless, Cancer/Leo subjects will nurture the family group and take pride in the warm hospitality they invariably provide.

The Cancer/Leo cusp combination, also known as the Cusp of Oscillation, corresponds symbolically to the period of human life at around the age of twenty-eight. Of all twelve cusps, these natives most clearly display the split influences of two adjacent Signs almost opposite in their orientations. Here, traditionally feminine orientations (associated with the Moon) and traditionally masculine orientations (associated with the Sun) are combined equally in one single personality. Thus, Cancer/Leo males are likely to possess strong feminine sensibilities and Cancer/Leo females display an accentuated masculine side. Integrated in such a manner, these contrasting characteristics can result in a highly-balanced and healthy personality. However, when there is a tendency to vie for ascendancy, this cusp combination often produces wide mood swings which can cause immense psychic stress. It may be hard for others to know exactly how to approach these cuspians and those who know them well will frequently ease slowly into conversations, sitting quietly until the mood becomes apparent. Generally, it is difficult (if not impossible) to push Cancer/Leo subjects from one psychological state into another due to the fact that they are resistant to emotional manipulation. The water element of Cancer results in these natives tending to respond through emotion, while the fire element of Leo provides a more physical aspect to the character, coupled with a tendency to respond to the world by way of action. Thus, these cuspians are normally quite intuitive and will leap headfirst into life, refusing to fret over whether their latest goal is realistic or practical. However, should the situation happen to require drama or courage, then these subjects most certainly possess both...in great abundance.

Cancer/Leo cuspians love being on the "cutting edge" of innovative projects and activities, possessing the vitality and ambition to be successful in creative endeavors. Indeed, "creativity" is one of the keywords attributed to these subjects and their caring nature ensures that the benefits of their imaginative powers will help others. Although they may not necessarily be suited to the position of leadership, they are efficient and their application to the task at hand is admirable. These natives also know how to delegate authority and work within a team environment. They usually prefer to be in the "thick of battle" rather than be found "sitting on the sidelines," and those who can work with these natives as true associates and partners are often able to share in such experiences, thus penetrating deeply into this cuspian's heart and mind. Cancer/Leo natives set high goals for themselves. They are great thinkers and possess magnificent memories. By nature, these are immensely sympathetic souls...particularly to those in distress and will contribute freely and lavishly toward relief. Loyalty to friends is yet another admirable trait associated with this cusp combination. Indeed, there is no trouble or disgrace sufficient to cause these natives to forsake those to whom they have given friendship. Females governed by this cusp combination are frequently among the best wives and mothers to be found in the entire Zodiac. They are good housekeepers and excellent cooks, with a pronounced desire for "pleasures of the table." Indeed, all these cuspians (regardless of gender) have a strong association with food.

Cancer/Leo natives are both emotional and traditional, often very interested in their heredity and ancestors. They are frequently prominent in the theatrical arena since their inherent flamboyance and love of attention make them natural candidates for fame. There is a tendency here for these natives to perceive themselves as the "center of the universe" and, sometimes, they are absolutely correct. However, often fascinated by their own brilliance and eloquence, Cancer/Leo cuspians may become self-hypnotized to the point where they consider themselves to be masters or mistresses of right or wrong. From high-minded reformers, they can turn into unscrupulous spellbinders and their self-confidence could cause them to ridicule their own conservatism. Once the Leo mind drops its idealism and falls prey to indolence or deceit, then the lunar forces of Cancer will take control in the worse possible way and stir the restless mind with jealousy. However, this may all be avoided by fostering the natural exuberance afforded by Leo and turning it to progressive channels. True Leo individuals born born during the early period of this particular cusp combination frequently rise high in such professions as medicine and law, as well as becoming fine educators. The reason for this is due to their human sympathies, which are strongly furthered by the lunar undercurrent supplied by the Cancer influence. Cancer/Leo cuspians often make excellent amateur chefs and some go on to make a career out of cooking. Since pleasure is paramount to this cusp combination, its natives are prone to sepnd money in order to feel good. Cancer/Leo cuspians enjoy physical exercise (which can aid to counter the stress inherent in the emotional nature of this blend) and there is a decided preference here to play team sports or participate in group exercise rather than any solo activity. In short, these natives are far too sociable to truly enjoy solitary running or any other form of individual activity.

Here, the powerful governing influence of the Sun (which governs Leo), assumes almost total control over uncertain Cancer (governed by the flickery and fickle Moon). Nonetheless, this lesser force is present and can evidence itself, much like the Moon will occasionally eclipse the Sun. Individuals born on this cusp combination should basically consider themselves to be the subjects of Leo and strive to shake off any lunar weaknesses that could prove to be their undoing. If such natives become retrospective, then they should consider the past and its traditions to be nothing more than a guide toward a much greater future. Should the Cancer/Leo cuspian become moody, then he or she needs to "snap out of it" and think in terms of ambition. When this combination becomes sympathetic to suffering, it is important that immediate steps be taken to improve the condition or the brilliant and intellectual qualities given to this cusp by Leo may easily become warped or even dissipated. Cancer/Leo cuspians tend to go through life with a strong shell around them...one that is not easily broken. However, such individuals are the first to express emotion in any given situation...the first to laugh and the first to shed tears. There is also a strong ability to see projects through to completion. Thus, they are good organizers and tend to be very popular or even inspiring individuals. These cuspians are prone to be more sensitive to the movement of the Moon through the Zodiac than are other cuspians and their mood frequently changes in tune with the Moon's passage. In essence, these are by nature normally gregarious, social, self-assured and fun-loving characters who live life with much enthusiasm. Usually domestic and peaceful souls, they possess strong emotional drives and refuse to sit still when loved ones are threatened. There is also a tendency in the character of this cusp combination to live in something of a fantasy world.

With regard to relationships, Cancer/Leo cuspians rank high in almost every area...the gambit from devotion to romance. In dealings with business partners and friends, these natives tend to fare better with individuals who are even in terms of disposition...ones who are able to promote a peaceful and constant environment in day-to-day activities. Steady jobs, well-founded relationships and a dependable mate are vital to these natives in order to even out their constrasting moods. Nonetheless, they will most likely remain happy (to some degree at least) so long as someone is paying attention to them.

The greatest strength of Cancer/Leo cuspians is to be found in their creativity and in their generosity toward others. Sometimes, these qualities will combine and result in an individual who provides thoughtful gifts or unique solutions to problems. In addition, blessed with an emotional orientation to life which makes them aware of the difficulties their loved ones must work through, this cusp is counted among the most understanding characters of the Zodiac.

The most important lesson to be learned by Cancer/Leo natives is that they need to work with people who are not only highly competent and can carry their own share of the load, but that such people are able to understand these cuspians on a personal level. It is also necessary for them to learn self-discipline and try not to concentrate overly much on the past...instead, living for the present. Additionally, these natives should note that it is essential for their blood and digestive organs to be well-toned. As with all cusp individuals, these cuspians tend to be attracted to others born on the cusp...particularly those who fall within the Libra/Scorpio and Capricorn/Aquarius combinations.

About Me...

I found this article which is something alike for me to write down bout myself, but hey, let the article do the intro bout me, haha!!
Happy reading =)

July 19 to July 24
Persons born on the Cancer-Leo Cusp can be a bit volatile, swinging quickly from one extreme to another. Movement of one sort or another is familiar to them; physical movement, emotional movement… it is all one and the same to them. They often appear shy one minute and then they are stealing the spotlight the next.

Combining Fire and Water together in a Cancer-Leo Cusp makes for an interesting study. Their vibrant energy is tempered by emotional sensitivity. In turn, their emotions are tempered by the intense ambition they have. They are graceful and strong. Both attributes serve them well.

The fastest way to success for Cancer-Leo is to even out their highs and lows. Learning to maintain stability can pay off for them in a big way. Self-discipline can be attained without losing their spontaneity. By finding their calm center, they can remain confident in themselves.

Cancer-Leo is sensitive to criticism. They may come across as so self-assured that they appear to be living in a fantasy world. They have a strong affinity to food. Imaginative in the kitchen, they can work miracles with a meal. They enjoy pleasure and social gatherings. They don't care to be alone most of the time. They are devoted to their partner. They are generous and creative in their relationships with others. They are good at empathizing with their loved ones.

The Cusp of Oscillation creates people who are traditional, nurturing, flamboyant, ambitious, sensitive, proud, creative, expressive, inspiring, cheerful, practical, romantic, passionate, realistic, generous and emotional. They may also suffer from self-centeredness, hyper-sensitivity, and have dependency issues.

Cancer-Leo may be an intellectual genius or they may be unscrupulous. They have excellent memories. They don't forget any detail… ever. They are fair, and will stand by both friend and foe in times of struggle. At the same time, they may have trouble letting go of grudges or slights they feel, whether real or imagined.

This sign can conflict with Cancer's need for solitude and Leo's need to be the center of attention. If they can reach a comfortable balance, they will be much happier. Since both signs are affectionate and devoted, this rarely causes disruption unless they stray from their partner. Both signs hold family dear and love to spend time in their home. While Leo can stand up to some emotional bruising, Cancer cannot. They may be hurting deep inside and putting on a brave face. While Cancer makes their presence known through their works, Leo likes to make a splash. Those born on the Cancer-Leo Cusp may end up somewhere in between… shy with a bit of flamboyance. Both like to be in control, so this sign may end up trying to run the lives of their family members.

Finaly Update a Little... 2/9/2010 - 2.38a.m.

It's been awhile since I last updated my blog, I guess I have a lot to write from the things that occur around me...
Lol, a lil sleepy and dread tired, I don't even know I'm typing right, but oh well, just do it...

From the past few days months ago, my head changed a lot, (not my head, my thoughts) a lot of things stuffed into it and I could feel my head gonna burst, damn~...
Instead, I came to understand a lot of things, things which made me see things different I guess...
I wasn't able to go back during my holidays, which started around June ago or late May, 'till August... I was so pissed at my college ways of handling it's system... I wanted to go back, but well, stucked... damn!!

I spend the whole June accompanying a friend of mine, Shah, who is also my house-mate at our rental house, 'cause if I go to my aunt's place, he'll be home alone, hahaha!! But oh well, I know how it feels to be lonely there, so staying it is!! =)
A lot of things happened though, hahaha, we destroyed bee hives and dressed like SWATs, hahaha, late night watching FIFA, oh well, a single guy's life, fooling around with no where to go, just try to live today and see whats coming next, hahaha...
I was living there, by myself sometimes, (Shah goes back to JB sometimes) along with my pet bird Jojo that time... It got me thinking back of a thought that I once keep it in my head all the time... 'Tomorrow'

I see myself in my thoughts, hearing nothing from reality, the fan, bird, etc... But only seeing myself... I look back at the things happened, the things I did, everything... and now, it's today... What am I doing actually? A lot my memories starting to show...
It's today, I've done this, this, this, this, and that... Tomorrow? What about it? What will happen next to me? Will I stay like this what I'm doing now? I understand I came into this world with nothing but, am I to live here with nothing??
It got me silence the whole day, laying down on my bed, (I'm not worried bout Jojo, gave him lots of food in his pot and water)
A change would be nice, that's what got into my mind, everytime... Change... I yearn it for so long, the change of things to be better...
I think of this everytime when I'm alone, especially at my secret spots... I could just stay there for as long as I want to... But well, if I'm back at my place, of course my parents wouldn't allow, and they will start to accuse all sort of stuffs...
A solitary life is for me, surrounded by the people whom I trust... But hey, I got nothing, remember? I don't even own a car... Wanting a place of my own? Now that's gonna take some time...
Well, I came to agree that we should never regret what we've done before... It's the past, it's written and cannot be erased, but you can make it better at the next page of the book, only it's up to you to make that change... Never regret on the things you done before, cause in the end, it makes you who you are =)
I think I should stop here for awhile, someone told me not to sleep late, gotta listen to that, haha!
Till then, adios...

Wonder What comes Today...

7.55 a.m.,

5.55 a.m. and still awake...

Yup, 5.55 a.m., 30th May 2010... I should be sleeping by now, if it wasn't for my last piece of assignment that I really wanna finish it off... And of course, I wrote this blog earlier, but something went wrong with the FireFox, and it turned off the whole blog thing, so after cooling down a little, I decided to re-write whatever I could remember, and my favourite of doing things now, just mixing up stories =D
So, probaly if you're reading, don't be surprise if the topic jumps to a different one, hehe =)

*sigh* What a same old day, wake up, eat, sleep, pretend to be dead for awhile, faint during sleep, same old thing, nothing new, I feel like a hamster in a cage sometimes, trapped inside and just do the same thing, again and again...
But it's not those that troubles me... It seems that I'm getting tired of everything, EVERYTHING...
Why? Seem I've been asking the same question if you're gonna ask me...

Probaly, all this time, being a loner is really tired... You may see me hanging out with people, such as my friends and families... And the thing I would like to say is 'quality, not quantity'... I see that way in things and people... And the people I hang out is 'quality' person... Good and trustworthy... Why hang out with 10 people who will stab you in the back yet call you friend? 'Quality, not quantity'... I seek loyalty and trust in people, and that's it...

Probaly that's the reason why I'm a loner, and being lonely is what I do best, but sometimes hated by people, why? Must I be a hypocrite like you? But hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying anyone is a hypocrite, just giving out an example...

I'm not strong, I have nothing, but still I'm not weak and always from nothing, will gain something... I'm not sure what exactly I'm fighting for or do whatever I'm doing right now, but at least, I'm still alive to find the answers, where it will bring me from places to places, see new faces, learn and experience new things... What a wonderful world even if it is cruel...
And it seems, a loner such as myself will fit in at anywhere... But what I lack of right now, probaly if it is true, lacking of belonging to someone...

Ahh~, the feeling of joy and happiness, where also sadness be shared and almost anything between two mortals, like a burning flame where it never can be put off... But does it make any differences if I belong or not to someone? Only the feeling of betrayed and unappreciated which is planted in my memory and feeling...
The sadness which I bear could not be wash off even when I sit in an open area during a heavy rain, hoping the rain will put off the fire which burns me...
It did... and scars remains... Reminding me the pain of the burning of sadness where it never heals...

But then, after few times of it, I finally understand, nothing in this world is in order... A young can die before the old, where we know that the old should rest first. Nothing is seems like what they are, for the quiet and peaceful forest that you see, is actually full with dangerous wild beast... Hahaha, I think I'm writing strange things, but yet, I just can't stop typing yet...

As I was saying, to belong to someone, ahh~ yes... and it always seem that I face troubles in this matter... I remember once where a cousin of mine, whom I never met or knew, but we were chatting in Facebook... She asked me, wheter I have a girlfriend...
So I answered truthfully to her, ''No...''
''What? I pity you...'' she answered...
I don't even know, wheter if she really mean ''pity'' or the kind of different ''pity'' where she look down on me or what, but it gave me a spark to start an anger, a little though, but I just remain calm... For I know, I too, pity myself...

Hopefully, this 'Lone Wolf' curse will be broken, oh yes, I cursed when I received that book my uncle gave me when I was a kid, and I really hold the title 'Lone Wolf' 'till now, prefer to be alone with someone who seeks company *a trusted friend of course who wants to share his/her story with a drink or walk*, sometimes spending time alone, or sometimes being alone for no reason when I need to somebody but there's nobody!! Damn you curse!! Haha!!

And for most of the complains I get, ''Why are you hiding yourself? Why won't you let me understand you? Why being so mysterious?''
I get these complains from my exes... and from some people too but mostly from them...
''I don't fake myself, I hide nothing and this is me, why?? You wanna jump on my back and hug me tightly for no reason? I got no problem with that, feel free for you have the right too!!'' If I just can say these words out but when I think 'bout it, it's kinda cold and like demanding them to do it... =.=''
I remember a girl who used to like me, said this words to me, ''You look so cold but cool, I'm afraid of you but what to know you...'' WTHeck??? Do I really have that kind of aura around me??? =.='' o...m...g...
But now, I barely could contact this person anymore, I just hope and pray for you an unending happiness =)
And a friend of mine too, if I'm not mistaken, she said that I look seducing to her... Seducing????? =.='' o...m...g... you're the 1st to say that girl, hahaha!!
And as how people found theirs, I will find mine too, just wait for me, whoever you are... But still, I will never trade my faith and I won't be lurking out to find my soul-mate, she'll come to me, eventually... Before that happens, I'll be enjoying my days as a single guy, 'cause I know, I won't be like this forever, so better enjoy my time while I still can, hehe >=3

Haaa~!! Guess writing your thoughts and feelings does make you feel a little better than before, lucky me I get to be online, hehehe... =)
Well, guess I'm off to continuing my assignment, or if I can't going to doze of for awhile...
Not enough sleep (TAT)''
Well, I'll be updating again, hopefully soon =D
Morning =D

Oh, forgot 1 thing, yesterday, I attended sunset mass with my friend and his friend which is now my friend too, we, for the 1st time attended a multi-language mass, english, malay, indian and chinese mixing ^^''
Guess it's a good thing? ^^''
Ehehe... Ok, out =D

10.10pm 28/3/2010

I'm still downloading music at this time, wonder when will it be complete...
Well, even my eys soars now but I can force myself for awhile since my eyes are a little bit speacial... Hehehe...

Ok, last night I went to Sunset Mass with my good friend, George. Funny thing is, I saw a young lady, probaly my age, or younger, who looks like a friend of mine where she nearly make me faint in her car, hahaha... Really can't forget that day... Dress and style are the same, but this lady seemed a little bit taller... Haha.. After that, I followed him around to buy stuffs in the mall, to buy T-shirts, haha...
After that, I agreed to stay late-night with him hanging in town and drinking at the park for we haven't seen each other for a long time...

He bought 'Thai Girl' I think, and I had vodka, which it doesn't suit my tongue =.='' The taste swiftly reminds me of when I was my uncle's 'Best Man' during his wedding day...
Thanks to George, I could try to forget that old women who gave me that drink =.='' hehehe...
Well, liquor never taste good, but still it's a good drink when you're hanging out with a good friend and spend the whole night talking, haha...

I know this friend of mine for more than a year, but I know, he's a person worth to trust... Unlike some of the people I known today, some of them really just don't seems to be good to their friend, I dunno... Only God does...

A friend is like our mortal angel, so we should be happy and thankful, cause true friend does not come that easy, so I cheerished each one of them, and never think of they are weak, have weakness or bad or using them for my purpose just to achieve my goal...
There are some people whom I do trust, but I ain't gonna type their names, hahaha...

Well, kinda short for today... I have to go for now, adios!!^^